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Appreciate your thoughtful response. I like TSK Ex. 9 too. It involves opening up everything that presents… even the ‘wondering ideas’ relating to what it would be like to lose your body after you die. Because all the referential thoughts ‘about something’ are part of the readout process. The exercise further invites us to: “Exclude nothing from this process—even ‘opening up’, ‘translucence’, and ‘space’ are to be opened up until they are gone. Then, even ‘being gone’ should be treated in this way.” If you could pause right there, before continuing with the readout and thoughts ‘about’ what might, or might not, come next… what is that? Rinpoche suggests: “We may… be able to discover another way of viewing our reality, aside from perceived linear development and interactions between items within a standard world order.”
This [other] way of viewing our reality that Rinpoche seems to be bringing up out of ‘opening’, is mysterious. It doesn’t seem to arise out of, “perceived linear development and interactions between items within a standard world order.” Like our standard world of thoughts and ideas. This is where my inquiry has been focusing.
Regarding your second paragraph, your hope that you are in fact doing what you’re meant to do as a human being. And I assume that means living ‘into’ your essential potential. As a bystander, seems to me you’re well on your way. Everyone suffers. We know that from personal experience. Rypoche writes:
“Compassion is a healthy psychological attitude, because it does not involve expectations or demands.
Even if we are not able to accomplish very much on a physical level, at least we can have the desire to be a loving person with a compassionate heart—the wish to help others, spontaneously, with no reservations.
This attitude automatically opens our hearts and develops our compassion.
Then we can sincerely say to ourselves, ‘If there is any way I can learn to increase my compassion or understanding of humanity, then I wish to receive that teaching—wherever it exists—and take the responsibility to use that knowledge to help others.’”
…Tibetan Meditation, by Tarthang Tulku
Seems to me, you’ve spent decades helping others. You launched a non-profit, Friends in Time, which has for years provided free services to people with MS and ALS. Also, your work with Pathways Academy, a school for kids with Autism and other learning issues. These are just a couple of your endeavors. I think you should have confidence you are living into your compassionate potential. 🙂